Its undeniable that I'm hurt since that breakup... It gives me a lots of destruction than peace... Almost every night I pray to Allah... show me a sign or at least... provide me As-Sams (Death)...
I ashamed to everyone I know... all the promise.. especially my oath to Allah... has been never fulfilled... the only things that keep me sane is listening to Zikrullah and keep on praying till As-Sams get me...
I turned myself back on Allah path... Alhamdulilah, it ease me a bit... but then... why that 'feeling' haunt me back? Is this a type of punishment for not fulfilling my oath to you Ya Allah? There is more question than answer...
I realise I am a type which in malay could be translated as being too 'manja'... yet I know, what is my limit in term of socialising with other... why for now, it seem too hard for me to trust people?... after that incident....
People asked me to be strong...yet, it gives me the opposite, frailer and fragile is what I get at the end...
I manage to hide all my sadness and sorrow from my family... because I didn't wish to see tears flowing from their eyes.. let me alone handle all my sadness and sorrows...
When will I gained my peace and happiness? I surrender it to the hand of Allah... because HE is the most Powerful and the most Mercyful than others...
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