Its time! 2011!

Whoa... my Industrial Placement will soon be over... I just can't wait for my 10 day off holiday... waiting to be released from all 2010 pain and sorrow...

Times fly faster and so does my broken heart...

Talking about time, will it heal my pain? NEVER... I'm not an avenger though... Haha... Its true that I has changed drastically... I'm no longer the same Syamim that all of you might know...

In the past, I might be cheerful, active, warming and etc... but now... After that 'incident', I locked myself away from everything... I abdicate half of my time remembering Allah, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and Islamic teaching...

A test of Faith in trusting Allah is better than trusting a woman... It will never wilt, dies nor betray me... Trusting a woman has make me weak for all time... Should I lay my trust or just walk away from it?

Decision oh decision... my.. my.. Time has been cruel to me... it will never be good to me...

Yet, I able to withstand it thanks due to always keep listening to some old 1990's songs and recite Yassin...

I always carry small books that contain Suras Yassin on it... I've been keep recite the Sura's until I didn't have the energy left in my jinx body... After recite it 3 times (or more perhaps)...

I've to admit that nowadays, I can easily be teased to a point of meltdown occur... Everytime it happen, one thing came into my mind - Surau (any place where I can't be seen or look for - a complete silence)

Now, Commitment...

• Aiding Family
• Abdicate to Allah
• Stay away from woman as far as I can
• Erasing sweet memories for all years (including that 'incident')
• Tease me , I'm gone =P

Simple as that...

Now is 1.16 pm... and not having lunch yet... Things to do... Pray First, Eat Later

Can't Wait for tomorrow~~~~~~~~ 

It's been a while...

It's been a while I keep silence... its a good sign though... I'm calmed yet has develop an unexpected meltdown...

I didn't know what to do anymore..

I only give my trust only once... there is no twice or triplet and so on anymore...

So be careful... bearing the trust I give guys...

Its the most precious and the most valuable feeling that I can give and will do anything to protect it... please treasure it...

Even if it mean the cost of my life...

Enough about that... now to my activities....

It's undeniable that, week by week I getting weaker in spiritual and internally...

The list of songs I mention earlier in this blog, I have replace it with something that suit my moooood~~~

For now, there are two songs captivating my soul, and they're

1. Bila Cinta by Gio
2. Biarlah Rahsia by Siti Nurhaliza

My opinion for the first song - a story where a man fall in love with a woman... filled with lies and abandoned him at the end... leaving the man having difficulties and cause his downfall... all his dream and hopes turned into ashes.... just like what one of the sentences mention "tidak lagi bermakna"

The second, I really like the lyrics very much.... I understand that I might be hasty in querying people... yet are there any people do understand why I asking too much question? every pain I kept locked deep within my heart, every tears shed silently... 

I like the songs bridge:

Semakin Aku Hidup Dalam Cinta
Tiada Kuasa Mampu Menghalangnya
Hentikan Kata Kata
Bertulangkan Dusta

This world filled with lies, betrayal and etc... I weak for this type of surrounding...

Still I hope next year will be the most enjoyable moment for me... Insya Allah....

Lirik Sepi by Yuni Shara

Sepi hati terjadi lagi 
Mungkin sampai mati aku sepi 
Biar senyum hadir di hariku 
namun ini hanya ada di bibir 
di bibir saja 

Aku ini yang bisa mengerti 
walaupun yang lain mau mengerti 
Namun berat beban hidupku 
biarkan saja 
Biar saja hanya ku yang tahu 

Sejarah cinta dan hidupku 
penuh duri dan banyak ranjau 
Butuh kesabaran yang penuh 
untuk tetap ku berdiri 

ada saatnya ku bicara 
bila hatiku telah bulat 
Sepanjang ku bisa atasi semua 
aku tetap diam 

sejarah cinta dan hidupku 
penuh duri dan banyak ranjau 
butuh kesabaran yang penuh 
untuk tetap ku berdiri 

ada saatnya ku bicara 
bila hatiku telah bulat 
Sepanjang ku bisa atasi semua 
aku tetap diam

Yuni Shara - Sepi (Official Music Video)

Sepi dan kesunyian...

Jalan yang harus ku harungi...

Bersendirian...

Fahamilah seni kata yang tersirat dalam lagu ini...

A song that suit with the poet I post =)

a mixture of my poet plus this beat = a perfect combination... I can sing... the last part only =3

Its all about poet

Forgiven

Everything I hold dear,

Vanish in a matter of time

Shall I never be a lover,

Until at the end of my life.

This sorrows,

This pain,

It follows,

To my grave.

Condemned,

For the rest of my life,

This prison,

Never leave me.

Lies is a betrayal,

It’s fun for those people,

Playing a loyalist heart as mine,

It’s a veil to hide their true colour.

I’m sad,

For everything that I hold dear,

Destroyed quickly,

Without being given a warning.

Yet I forgive,

As I promised at the start,

To forgive,

No matters what.

If people do judge me,

As a villain,

Think deep and seek within,

In your heart,

The reason why.

Jazakallah...

All day of poetry is making me feel better... seriously, it unlock my hidden talent =)

Now the question – Shall I smile sincerely or just give a depression smile?

Time for mind food

Masa untuk makanan minda...

Selama ini kita sibuk mengejar keduniaan,

Adakah kita sudah bersedia untuk melangkah ke dunia yang satu lagi?

Adakah segala amalan kita mencukupi untuk pergi ke sana?

Apakah yang akan kita tinggalkan apabila kita tiada lagi wujud di dunia?

Harta?

 Rumah?

 Kekayaan?

Kebendaan?

Renung lah sementara masih lagi ada masa untuk beribadat =)

Peribahasa Melayu Lama:

Hidup bukan doa

Mati bukan sumpah

Maksudnya? Cari kamus~~~ =p

The songs that keep me sane

Here are the list of my songs, that accompany me during the attachment days:

1. What have you done - Within Temptations
2. Angels - Within Temptations
3. Pretend - Second Hand Serenade
4. Goodbye - Second Hand Serenade
5. Why - Second Hand Serenade
6. Soledad - Westlife (Piano Version)
7. Sad Romance - Various (Violin)
8. Goodbye my friend (Vocal) - Various Artist
9. Its the fear - Within Temptations
10. The truth beneath the rose - Within Temptations
11. No Love No More - JYP
12. Lies - T-Ara
13. His Name is Muhammad - Kamal Uddin
14. Subhanallah - Kamal Uddin
15. Suffering - Kamal Uddin
16. Slow sad piano - Various artist
17. Sad Piano - Various artist 

Actually there's more to come, yet.. this are the songs that has a deep impact to me... 

*Tsk* 

Let the picture describe everything

What does this picture has to say? It describe everything....

All of my emotions... all of my sadness... for being alone... with no hands to hold for....

*sigh*

A hadith I like most

Narrated by Abu Hurairah,

Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) once said ;

"Everyday, two angels descend from Jannah (Heaven) to Earth, and one of them pray, "O Allah! Please compensate every man whom spend most of his time in Your Cause".

The other angel pray, "O Allah! Destroy his/her Misery".

Come to think of it, I am so lucky to have an Al-Quran that has english translation on it... I really love my Al-Quran and it always stay next to my bed... everytime Al-Isyq (Love) disease strike me from nowhere... I... I... need some time to let it all out... with tears....

I'm not strong as I use to be... Maybe I'm getting tired of everything already....

Rascal Flatts What Hurts The Most Music Video (With Lyrics)

An article that soothe my heart (From Aunt Mai Shahren Blog)

Beautiful Muslimahs with hijabs..

The Hijab is IFFAH (Modesty).
The hijab is Tahara (Purity).The hijab is a Shield.
The hijab is Taqwah (Righteousness).
The hijab is Eemaan (Belief or Faith).
The hijab is Haya' (Bashfulness).


Soo... What have women nowadays shield themselves against the modern sarcastic ways of fashion?


Inna Lillah Ha Illa Inna Hirra'jiun...

The present day of me (Jobless Strike)

Time does fly... with happiness and sadness mixed into one...

That's past... now move to the future... with the aid of Bismillahirrahman nirrahim....

No Love, No More....

The Stupid Act

Today's mark the most stupid act I ever... I not only provoke her anger towards me... and I sense her hatred toward me for eternity...

Today also marked the end of usage of facebook.... both account has been terminated.... permanently... "Kun Faya Kun"... because of this... my relationship ruined completely...

Nowadays, as the technology getting advanced... it too has its price... the cost of my relationship....

I wish I living in Prophet Muhammad's (PBUH) era, where lies can be detected easily.... even in making promise...

Nowadays, lies seems to be a habit... we can't sense it... as the people who do it... able to hide 'its' smell...

Ya Allah, just punish me.... I need pain to be away from her... and let her have Your Protection and Happiness...

Too much sadness has accumulated a new syndrome to me... every tears filled with cough... my heart shrink everytime sadness engulf me... every night tears flowing...

I blamed facebook for the end of everything.... Its has its advantages in term of communicating... yet it had its hidden drawbacks....

One fact I read from newspaper... A catholic missionary had banned the usage of facebook to its followers due to many divorce has occur from it...

Astagafirullah... why... why... why... that mark zuckerberg design facebook...

perhaps to make the muslims fighting amongst each other? who knows?

A jews intention to break the bond of muslimin ummah....

LA HAU LA WALA QUATA ILLA BILAH....